Oh yeah, I'm going there.......
What is it about a diaper wearing, arrow-bearing fat kid that makes other-wise fairly intelligent "paired-up" adults loose all sensibilities?? I know that most actions have the very best of intentions, but let's all regroup for a moment, and remember what it was like to be single, and let me (ahem) gently remind you what the single gal (and maybe guy) would like you to remember on Valentine's Day. And probably every other day of the year.....
1. I did not cease to exist the day I became single. You can still have a conversation with me. I still follow world events, think about the state of our economy, have a favorite tv show. If you start your conversation with "When we were..." I can still roll with it.
2. I may choose to stay at home on Feb 14th. This does not mean I have ceased all basic forms of hygiene and have actually placed the online order for the Crazy Lady Starter Litter of Cats. Don't feel guilty if you have plans. I'm even okay with hearing about your plans. Really.
3. Here's a real kicker, for any day of the year....if I offer to watch your kids, so you and your spouse can go out, I mean it. I really want you to have a happy, healthy marriage. I wouldn't offer if it wasn't sincere. I've had 3 itty bitties. I know what's involved. So unless you think I may wreck them, it's okay to take me up on it.
4. Spending extra time on my hair and appearing "dressed up" means nothing more than everything worked that morning. That's all. Other mornings, maybe I overslept, or the bathtub drain had to be unclogged, or one of the Bs needed to talk, or a dog threw up....that's all.....please don't assume it means there's "someone special"....that gets old....
5. When you offer your matchmaking services, and I politely decline, thank you for respecting my wishes. When you go behind my back, and blindside me.....you deserve the firestorm that occurs in front of God and everyone. And you betray a trust that is hard to rebuild.
6. Guys, thanks for occasionally sharing your wife with me. The girl time is much appreciated. I promise I'm not taking her out to bars or trying to talk her into joining the First Wives Club or any other such scandalous behavior. She's just telling me where she bought her shoes and how she got the pictures to upload so fast on facebook and besides, it's saving you an in-depth conversation about Downtown Abby.
7. Ladies, I am very careful about where and when I talk with your husband. But when I do, I absolutely promise I'm not trying to take him from you. I don't want him. He's yours. But it's not my words that should matter on this...he's your husband. Trust him on this. Trust your marriage.
8. If you see a "single" at the movies(or a restaurant) it doesn't have to be an awkward situation. For some reason, it trips a lot of people up. Let me help you out: the "single" went to the movies knowingly. (ie: knowing there would be "couples" there.) Your "social" obligation is to say "hey", maybe "how are you?" "heard much about the movie?" that sort of thing. Then, find your seat, and watch the show you paid to see. Don't get all weird, and start asking about their great aunt, if they've filed their taxes yet, or even worse...avoid eye contact all together. Just be normal.
9. The day I ask you about your... shall we say....personal, private matters, is the day you can ask me about mine. Single does not equal Open Book. End of conversation.
10. There is only One who I now trust with my heart. It will be up to Him whether or not it's ever given to another. In the meantime, I'm trying to teach the Bs to leave their hearts with their Heavenly Father from the very beginning. Until He says its okay to give it away. They have seen me cry over my wrong choices, and we laugh at life's ironies. We laugh alot at our house...and friends, I'd rather laugh as a Single within His will than be broken as a Couple outside His will.
